


Nothing to Forgive

by kellebelle



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, I Tried, I tried really hard, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Steve Feels, Steve is a good boyfriend, SteveTonyFest, Tony Needs a Hug, i hope it's good enough, i've only ever written mcu fics, references to Skrull Steve, so EMH was new territory for me, sorry if it's not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 06:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1848727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellebelle/pseuds/kellebelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Steve defeats his Skrull counterpart and the team returns to Stark Manor, Tony doesn't think Steve will ever be able to forgive him. So instead of facing the problem head-on, he avoids Steve until he is forced to actually face the problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing to Forgive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lady-pei](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lady-pei).



> Written for SteveTonyFest (Summer 2014) for lady_pei who wanted:
> 
> "I’d really love a fic that explores the aftermath of Steve being kidnapped for a month and Tony feeling horribly guilty afterwards that he kissed and hugged and slept with an imposter wearing Steve’s face and never noticed (but neither did the rest of the team)…but then the real Steve, now safe and sound, comforts Tony and tells him it’s not his fault and yadda yadda yay fluff and love and comfort!"
> 
> This is my first foray into EMH, so I hope it is all right. I'll explain the warning in the end notes.

Never let it be said that Tony Stark could not find yet another reason to hate himself considering his list was already pretty long to begin with.

 

Instead of facing the problem head-on like a responsible adult he decided to camp out in his workshop for a few days, and if he had to ignore the pained look on Steve’s face every time the soldier was unsuccessful at getting in, then so be it.

 

Steve deserved better anyway.

 

Tony knew he would always find a way to screw things up and this time he did it without being any wiser to what was going on.

 

He felt so much guilt over all of this that he didn’t even think he deserved to try and offer up any sort of explanation to Steve. He didn’t even know what he’d try to say to him.

 

So he avoided saying anything at all.

 

Steve would have to give up on him at some point right?

 

Steve deserved better and Tony wasn’t able to offer that.

 

***

 

After three days of running on fumes and junk food, Tony finally left the comfort of his workshop and went to the kitchen for some coffee. Clint was trying to teach Hulk how to successfully flip pancakes and failing if the crushed pans were anything to go by.

 

Normal day in the Stark Manor.

 

He was busy filling a mug with the blackest coffee he could get when he heard Steve walk into the kitchen with hellos for everyone. And if he sounded a little sad, a little lost, and if his eyes lingered a little too long on Tony who was very adamant about not looking at him, well he was going to pretend not to notice.

 

He turned around with a dazzling press smile and lifted his mug.

 

“Morning all. I’d love to stay and chat but I have work to return to.”

 

And he was off again before Steve could even finish saying “Tony, wait!”

 

***

 

On day five his entire workshop powered down.

 

“JARVIS, what just happened?”

 

“Apologies, sir, but I am under strict orders by Ms. Potts to have you vacate the area for the following three days or until you speak with Captain Rogers.”

 

“What? She can’t order you to do that! That’s…!” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. “Fine. I’m going upstairs! Watch me leave. I’m leaving. Tell Pepper I’m leaving.”

 

“And your override code has been disabled by Ms. Potts in the event that you try to override the override.”

 

Damnit.

 

“I’ve also been instructed to remind you that if you do not speak to the captain at your earliest possible convenience then, and I quote, ‘there will be hell to pay, Tony.’”

 

“What am I supposed to say to him? Do you have any ideas then? Because I don’t think saying please forgive me for sleeping with the guy who was pretending to be you is a great way to start a conversation.”

 

“Or perhaps you could take the time to remember that Captain Rogers was kidnapped and is currently dealing with far too much backlash from the public. It is possible he might need you as much as you need him, sir.”

 

And okay yeah. Maybe he’d been so wrapped up in his own pain that he’d sort of selfishly enough worried more about whether or not Steve would forgive him rather than realizing that Steve probably needed him right now.

 

This was exactly why he wasn’t good enough for Steve.

 

Tony sighed. “JARVIS, tell Steve to come to the bedroom in 15 minutes.”

 

“As you wish, sir.”

 

Tony could do this. Right? He could try to help Steve and not make this all about him. He was Iron Man. He could do anything. He still loved Steve.

 

***

 

Fifteen minutes later, on the dot, Steve walked in. Tony took a deep breath and then smiled, and this time it was a real smile. A nervous smile, but real nonetheless and that had to count for something.

 

“You wanted to see me?” Steve was a little wary when he asked but Tony couldn’t blame him.

 

“Yeah.” He let out a breath. “Yeah. I just…” He took a seat on the bed and then patted the spot next to him hoping Steve would sit as well. He did.

 

“Why have you been avoiding me, Tony?”

 

A nervous laugh. Oops.

 

“I…” he swallowed and looked down. “I sort of thought you were going to hate me and not forgive me and did I mention hate me but then I realized that I wasn’t being fair to you because wow this happened to you and I’m not being a real adult about this and stop me now and say something.”

 

Steve wrapped one giant arm over Tony’s shoulders. “You’d have known, if you’d have bothered to talk to me at all, that I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

“Pfft,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Why would I not be okay?”

 

“Really? Would you like me to repeat everything you just said?”

 

Tony pouted a little. “Okay, point, but…”

 

“I was kidnapped, yeah, but I was distanced from everything that was happening here. I wasn’t entirely sure how you guys were handling things.”

 

“We didn’t do a very good job when we realized it had to be one of us. It’s just that no one ever expected it to be you,” the brunet all but whispered.

 

“It’s not your fault that you didn’t notice.”

 

Tony glared at Steve. “Not my fault? You can’t tell me that you’re not pissed about that, Cap!”

 

“I’m not. Well I am, but I’m not mad at you. To be honest, I’m confused about my feelings when it comes to all of this, but not about my feelings for you.”

 

“You’re being corny right now.”

 

Steve smiled. “You love it when I’m corny.”

 

“That is a damn dirty lie, Rogers.” Tony took another breath. “I hate myself for not knowing. I should have known. Something should have told me. I was clueless though. And I hate that. I hate it so much because I thought it was you and it wasn’t.”

 

“You’re not the only one who didn’t know though…”

 

“It doesn’t matter! I still treated it like it was you! I kissed it. I hugged it. I shared a bed with it and now…” he has to stop because he might start hyperventilating soon. He didn’t want to think about it too much.

 

“And the whole time it made you believe that was me.”

 

Tony sighed and muttered. “Yeah. I had no idea.”

 

“You know there’s a word for that right?”

 

Tony shrugged away from Steve and covered his face with his hands. “I do and can we not talk about it?”

 

“Tony…” Steve said calmly.

 

Tony jumped up then, frantic. “What? What, Steve? What? I’m not a victim here!”

 

Steve gently pulled Tony’s hands into his own and guided him to sit back down. “I’m not trying to make you feel like one, but this is something we have to talk about. Maybe not right now, but you can’t let it go either.”

 

“It’s my fault!”

 

“No. It’s not your fault. It’s not.” He pulled Tony toward him, wanting to hug the man, but he was met with resistance and Steve wasn’t going to force it.

 

“How can you say that it wasn’t?”

 

“Because you were duped, just like everyone else! And I’m not saying that out of anger or any sort of hurt pride on my part, but you were led to believe that was me over and over. That thing knew everything about me when he took my form.”

 

“I still should have known though!” the brunet shouted. He took in a shaky breath, breathing a little too fast now. “I should have been able to detect that my own boyfriend wasn’t…”he scratched his head and looked down. “Something should have clued me in. I mean he was a little grumpier lately but considering what was going on it wasn’t much of a shocker, but I should have known. How stupid can I be? I’m supposed to be a genius, Steve!”

 

He wasn’t having a breakdown here. No, he wasn’t about to. He couldn’t. This wasn’t supposed to be about him. Except Steve’s arms were around him and pulling him back down toward the bed. He was kissing Tony’s head and rubbing his back and holding onto him like his own life depended on it.

 

“I’m so sorry, Steve!” His voice was broken. “I’m sorry. I’m not...I don’t deserve you. I’m not good enough...I made a mistake and I don’t know why you aren’t disgusted with me.”

 

“Tony,” Steve whispered. He was placing small kisses against Tony’s temple and rocking back and forth. “Tony, you didn’t know. Don’t ever tell me again that you’re not good enough. I’m disgusted with what it did to you, but not with you.”

 

Tony curled himself into Steve, whispering apology after apology against the blond’s neck, letting Steve comfort him for the time being. He would probably wake up in the morning and worry about this all over again, but for the time being he wanted things to be okay and he wanted to keep feeling Steve holding onto him.

 

After several moments of them just holding on to each other, Steve pulled his head back and lifted Tony’s chin, pressing a kiss to the genius’ lips.

 

“I’m not mad you, Tony. I’m not. I never will be. This isn’t your fault and I will spend as long as necessary to prove to you that I love you, that I won’t leave you over this. Just talk to me.”

 

“I betrayed you.”

 

“You did not. Stop it, Tony. Just believe what I’m telling you now. That’s all that matters.”

 

Tony nodded. “So if I tell you I’m ready for bed...will you stay with me?”

 

Steve’s eyebrows shot up. “Only if you’re comfortable with that.”

 

“Yeah. Yeah I think...I just want to wake up and see you. The real you. And know that you’re still here anyway.”

 

Steve kissed Tony again. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

 

“I am.” He smiled. “I am.”

 

Once they were changed and Tony was resting against Steve in bed, the blond yawned. “I love you, Tony. Everything will be okay eventually. Just don’t push me out again.”

 

The genius gave a tired nod. “I won’t.” He hoped he would stop doing that at least. He yawned and felt his eyes slowly drifting shut. “Love you too, Steve.”

  
Maybe, just maybe, Tony could get through this now that he knew Steve still wanted him, wanted to be a part of his life, and maybe he’d be able to say all the things he hadn’t been able to admit tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> So I realized when I was writing this that I was faced with a dilemma because this was supposed to be fluff and love and comfort, which I tried to do, but I feel like it might have ended up being too angsty.
> 
> The fact that Tony slept with this imposter wearing Steve's face touches on the issue of rape, and while not brutal and forced in this fic, the fact that Tony was coerced into believing it was Steve the whole time is still considered rape.
> 
> I didn't have Tony or Steve use the word in this fic because I felt like it wouldn't be able to reach the level of darkness since I wasn't going for that anyway. I hope this is at least clear in my explanation because I'm not even prepared to write something that dark yet, not that I wouldn't explore it, but it would just take a lot more time for me.


End file.
